Today was initially a day of flopping, sleeping, waking up and feeling awful before starting the cycle all over again.
The only emotion I felt was guilt. It’s hard to do anything except for hide from life when all you can do is feel guilty. I’ve tried explaining it before like this: imagine that you’ve woken up knowing that you’ve done the worst thing imaginable. Perhaps you’ve murdered someone. Well, you can feel the guilt associated with it, but no matter how hard you rack your brain, you can’t remember what you did. That’s how I felt today. Except thankfully, after all these years, I can at least convince myself that it is just my head playing tricks again. But there was no way on earth I wanted to do anything other than hide (and sleep).
The turning point in the day came when my sister brought me dinner: a comforting bag of fish and chips from my local chippy. Perhaps it was the sustenance from the battered cod and calorific, but gorgeous fat ladened chips that made me feel better. But I think it had more to do with the fact that my nephew turned up too. He’s still young enough to be adorable – and I’m going to hold on to that for as long as I can. But today I was also able to teach him one of those “life lessons” that I mentioned yesterday. Today’s lesson was all about how his aunt can hold a straight face when he asks what a smear test is. The poor lad got told in full detail. I swear that he was squirming off the chair and into the wall at one point. I was having far too much fun watching him to stop talking about “women’s bits” and “cervixes” sooner.
Yes, at that age I’d have been mortified too. But if he can put up with an old lady like me talking about stuff like, that then he’s not only going to be hard to embarrass later on in life, but he’s going to be better equipped to deal with the 50% of the population who have to deal with such things.
Well, after they left I thought I’d make myself a sports bra. I’m off on holiday very soon and I really want a breathable, comfortable top to wear whilst out and about. So, I made myself a brazi with some supplex that I bought ages ago.
I’m getting a lot better at sewing. I essentially started because I was fed up of having nothing suitable to wear, especially when I went out walking. And now I have loads! Tonight I also have my first ultra-wicking, breathable 3xl sports bra, complete with power mesh to stop everything from bouncing.
Not that I tend to bounce very often. My body isn’t particularly good at that sort of stuff. But in the summer if my niece or nephew challenge me to a hill-rolling contest I’ll be the best prepared adult on the hill.
And for some reason, sewing that calmed me down enough so that I could hop on my recumbent bike and pedal for half an hour.
Yeah Janathon – another bit of exercise that wouldn’t have been done without it.
Last minute workout Day: 30 minutes on the recumbent bike
Steps Taken: 3,548 – no way. I’ll have to remove my vivofit next time I cycle
Difficulty Level: Medium